I wonder if God is prying even my hopes from my hands in order to leave me on my knees with nothing.

I cannot even hold to hope. I have to release every hope I hold on to. I didn’t even know that was possible. No more hope? No more dreaming. I cannot even afford an ounce of control, nor even a sliver of confusion. I must put my blinders on and lose everything. This is my life, and there are no possibilities right now. This is not even a situation of broadening my horizons. This is a stage of life where my horizons have narrowed down to only one single path. And that is forward. 

Have you ever felt like hope is the most destructive emotion? God, my hands are completely emptied. I’m sorry.

I have to stop watching Channing Tatum movies, because they remind me of him. 

All done, God, all done. I relinquish hope. Give me Your truths; I’m done using my imagination.