Jessie, as defined by intelligence..? (that mean’s I have no title for this. Haha.)

#10: Describe five traits you liked about yourself as a child

Goodness, I don’t remember these things..

I guess I really liked the fact that I pretty much imagined myself to sleep at night. When I was little, I simply made up stories of princesses and rock stars and girls that inherited a lot of money. I went into great detail, and quite often my stories would turn into a nightly series, like a tv show in my head. Once I hit around age 10, the character typically became me. I would literally spend hours in my pretend world, having adventures and dramas and comedies every night. I went into so much detail.. I could imagine the best ice cream sundae in the world, and it was almost as satisfying to me mentally as a real one would be. I had a love for descriptiveness. Still do, in fact..

I was always proud of my really odd style… I look back and cringe now, but I was the 11 year old who walked around church with a newsboy cap, a red bandana wrapped around one wrist, and a chain necklace threaded around the other. I was always either wearing khakis to church and a button up shirt, looking like the biggest dressed-up tomboy ever, or I was in those really girly outfits with the flimsy material and the crazy patterns and peasant styles… If you’re anywhere between the ages of 16 and 20, you remember the styles of the early 2000’s. *shudders* But yeah. I thought I was super cool.

I always knew I was a pretty good writer. I never hesitated to volunteer to read my assignments in class I knew I was one of the best. Now I just look back and want to bury my face in my hands. I was so cocky..haha

I liked the fact that I was one of the smartest kids in Sunday School. I was the first almost always in Bible drills, I knew all the answers, I always had a smart, well-thought out answer, I could memorize any verse I was given, and I just generally beat absolutely everybody. Again, I was such a cocky child, even about the Bible. But I had an insecurity complex when I was younger, so I defined myself by how smart I was.

I also took great pride in my obsession and superior knowledge on the subjects of tornadoes, the Titanic, and any other disaster scenario…I had read literally every book in my local library regarding them. YET AGAIN I cringe at my ridiculousness. But there you have it.

So yeah. I was insecure in everything else, so the only things I liked about myself was how different I was from everyone else. I only thought I was worth anything because I was smart and interested in things no one else cared about. Oh little Jessie, you could have spared yourself so much grief and embarrassment if you just stopped trying to prove that you had something to offer. 

But in the end, I just laugh at my ridiculousness, and am glad that I’m past that stage of my life. Haha